wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
