then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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