he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
