My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
