so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
