we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
