just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
