Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
