Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
