I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
