Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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