Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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