do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
