Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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