I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
