I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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