sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
