i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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