Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
