its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
