I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
