real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
