dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
