Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
