i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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