I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
