You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
