if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
are you so shy because you have an std?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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