Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
