my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
