hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
