i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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