I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
