you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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