wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
