there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
