I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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