Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
