I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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