mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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