I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
