Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
