So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
