Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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