Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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