can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
