hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
