drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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