I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
