Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
