He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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