he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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